Progress is a funny thing. I think about it a lot as a PhD student.

I see that circles meme a lot in of PhD social media and I really do believe it – especially on a long journey such as 3-4 years on the same research question.

As we come up on the end of 2023 and I have not remotely achieved my financial goals for the year, I’m thinking about that meme in a different context.

Investing for retirement is pretty much the ultimate financial marathon. And this year was a financial walk for me.

I mostly try to be grateful it was a walk and not like a full-on crawl through mud.

When I decided to get this doctorate, I knew that if my plan with school and work turned out perfectly, I could finish this doctorate with as much in my savings as when I started and still hit my saving and investing goals each year.

Year 1 worked out perfectly.

Year 2 has not gone perfectly. The recession really hit the company I’ve worked for since 2020. Also, I produce digital events for them but they are a hybrid company, so since people could safely be in person this year, they often opted for that instead. Also, most of these companies leaned in hard on training during the pandemic when all their employees were working from home anyway. So, unsurprisingly, there was a dip.

But it was a heck of a dip. I made probably 1/3 of what I made last year this year. Additionally, I’m limited on what other work I can do while in school, so other side hustles have been minimal.

I did usher for minimum wage almost every weekend, though in September that show also closed.

And I was very fortunate to pick up one really well paying stage management gig for a festival.

But between paying tuition, paying rent and prioritizing seeing family and friends whenever they turn up in this country and whenever I can afford to go home – and, let’s be honest, totally my fault, but two pricey vacations for my brother’s wedding and a BFF adventure – it has been an expensive year.

Tuition came completely out of my savings, something I had hoped would not be the case.

And I have very quickly come to understand how people live paycheck to paycheck.

Rather than maxing out my IRA and HSA, I’ve only managed to add $2,000 to the IRA. And I get that many people would love to even be able to do that. Heck, I am so pleased I was able to do that, but it’s not the norm for me and it feels like a major financial backsliding.

When I think over the last year, and I scroll through the previous month’s accountabilities to see where the money went though, I’m having trouble regretting those spends.

I would say my mental health is probably around the average for a PhD student in the middle of the process (we are not exactly known for having the best mental health) but when I was considering where I could cut back, I realized that if I did, it would be pretty detrimental to my mental health to cut out the pleasant things.

So I guess this post is a shout-out to any of the others who have had a rough 2023 and who usually hit their goals but haven’t quite managed it this year.

I’m toying with shifting over some savings to max out the IRA since I could possibly take out a loan to finish things up over here if I have to and I am aware there are no loans for retirement, but I have no idea if it’s the right choice in the long run.

Life is so much uncertainty.

Fingers crossed everything rebounds in 2024. I hope 2023 has been a better one for all of you!