With my university contract coming to a close at the end of June, I’ve had an eye out for any side hustles that can prop up my income until the theaters start to reopen.

I recently received an email through the full school distribution email about a $400 a week part time gig through LDS charities to stuff mailers and organize goods to be redistributed to the local orphanages, hospitals, etc. that work with LDS.

FYI, LDS is Latter Day Saints – the Mormon Church.

I thought, that sounds ok, so I sent over an email to the one listed and inquired further about the job. I got this reply:

Seemed like a borderline legit answer, right? I also had no reason to question anything at this point because the initial job listing came through a place of fairly trusted authority – my current employed and a state university.

So I send over my info, and definitely expect some kind of follow up interview or something.

Nope. They just hire me. The tiniest of red flags popped up then, because I mentioned it to a friend and he pointed out that I wasn’t exactly applying to do rocket science here. They just need a body that can stuff envelopes and mail things.

So I am now hired. And I receive this email regarding my first “task.”

This triggers a few more red flags. The wording is super weird. And then let’s look at this last paragraph, “you must ensure to provide he rest funds after you have deducted your weekly pay of $400 to the supplier or else he would refuse to deliver the items to you when he arrives with the items.”

I mean. What?

Why am I paying the supplier in any way at all? I don’t think this man realized he was chatting with a Production Manager of some really large venues and also tiny, rinky dink theater companies. And this sounded like the crazy email of a delusional director/producer who doesn’t understand how things are transported and if I agree to work as their Production Manager on this gig, it will be a living nightmare.

It does also have a slight tone of a Craigslist listing where you wind up dead in a bog.

BUT. LDS Charities are real! And the listing was from my university.

Sigh.

I continued on.

I replied to him with a few follow up questions.

Then our conversation moved into text messages. I was sent an eCheck to deposit. Which I had to Google “is an eCheck even a real thing?” and it turns out it is.

Next red flag – it was for $3,850. Ok, now on the one hand, I was like what the heck and I shipping for this amount?? You said like 10 boxes of supplies. That’s like 7,000 mailers of stamps.

But again, university job listing, so I thought, well if the check doesn’t clear, then it’s all just not real and this is fine and we’re done here.

Then my buddy Brian started asking me many question about how much I can deposit at once. And I was told to report back as soon as it cleared.

The check cleared.

And literally, the moment I saw the balance in my checking account, everything in my gut said THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA. FIX IT. GET OUT. MAYBE BAD CHECKS CAN ACTUALLY CLEAR! YOU HAVE NO IDEA. YOU KNOW NOTHING, MEL!

Then I got this fairly interesting message:                                                                               

Change in plans. Also, airway bill? What the eff do you think you’re dropping off at my little apartment?

And then the money order nonsense started.

So… fairly sure Brian is a Nigerian prince now. All the red flags. ALL. THE. RED. FLAGS.

But also $3,850 in my bank account. That might, just maybe, tiniest of maybes, be for blankets for orphans that I am not holding up.

But also, there is literally no chance the Church of Latter Day Saints, one of the largest religions in America, runs in this insane and disorganized manner.

I am then advised to go to CVS to get money orders. Which I literally laugh out loud when I read and think, Mel, you have made a giant mistake, but you are 99.9% not delaying an orphans from getting any supplies – so at least there is that.

LIKE WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING AT THIS POINT?!??

But I’ve got to get rid of this $3,850. This is literally all I care about at this point. So I back out.

I’ve shattered the system. Perhaps I have single handedly sunk the Church of Latter Day Saints? Dunno. It didn’t make the news.

So in the final pile of sketchy sketchiness and the reason why I think I may be a totally oblivious money launderer of sorts – I cashed out the check, turned it into money orders and mailed the full $3,850 sum to the random address that he sent me, and wiped my hands of the most ridiculous 48 hours I can ever remember having.

The whole misadventure only cost me two days of a stomach ache and $37.63 in money orders and FedEx overnight costs.

The biggest issue was that I had complete and total trust in the source of where the job offer came from.

The second biggest issue is that I kept going after a few red flags and also that I thought the check would bounce if it was bogus.

The third biggest issue is that one of my favorite small side hustles is doing voice work for radio stations and everything about that one seemed so ridiculous and untrustworthy at first but it has turned out great.

Moral of the story – I totally thought I was smarter than this. I was not.

So, friend, especially those struggling in the entertainment and events industry right now, watch yourselves and don’t ignore your gut instincts!

And do not agree to work with Brian Harris of LDS Charities. Sketchy AF.

And for those wondering, I did notify my university about the listing and I contacted the LDS Church (though I’ve not heard back from them).