So I have been thinking a lot about my job this past week.

I kind of really enjoy some of it. And the primary part I actually like is the students. One of them approached me about doing an independent study next year and it feels like I’m reaching a point where I actually have to decide if I’m renewing or leaving.

Problem # – I was offered a contract at a certain rate that was discussed during my interviews with the possibility of it becoming a tenured position. Less than a week before the semester started, I was told that amount and level of hiring wasn’t possible, offered a $13,000 pay cut and put in a different tier of hiring that puts a cap on how much I can ever make that is less than even the first job offer.

Unless I get an MFA or PhD, which my dean unhelpfully told me I could work on while I was working and then we could reassess my tier. My university doesn’t actually offer either of those programs and you can’t get a theater graduate degree online – so I don’t think she actually knew what she was talking about in that case.

One of my theater colleagues then told me there is a doctorate at the university that just about anyone can get part time and it’s so easy it’s a joke, so I should just do that – which still puts me at like 10+ years, since it’s two years until I can start taking classes for free, until I actually have a shot of breaking free of this pay tier.

Also, it seems intellectually offensive to me to get a doctorate degree that’s a joke in a subject I don’t care about at all. And even if it were super easy, that would still be a lot of hours of my life spent on that nonsense.

Or I can just go back to my regular stage managing life in June and see where it continues to take me. And I’m sure I’ll actually wind up unemployed or something for a few months due to Murphy’s Law, but I’d likely land on my feet relatively quickly.

Problem #2 – I mean, there’s also that fact that if the school just up and changed the terms of my contract with less than a week till the semester started, why wouldn’t they do it again?

Problem #3 – I also miss stage managing. I don’t feel done with it at all.

The question is, at what point do I definitely have to make a decision?

In a perfect world, they would let me be a half year position and I’d just turn up every spring and teach, because that’s often a slow time of the year and I could probably plan my freelancing around that.

And it would be perfect because I really am starting to enjoy the teaching.

But it’s not a perfect world and I suspect I’m going to have to make a decision shortly.

The pay is definitely not like an abomination, but it’s the idea of being stuck in a little cage with a ceiling that’s lower than what I’ve been making the last few years and not ever being able to go higher without just quitting the job eventually anyway – to go to very expensive grad school again that I won’t even really be making enough to save up for.

I mean, the rational part of my mind is largely made up, because I’ve been spending two months now trying to see if I can find a way to make this work long term financially and it just seems like a terrible idea.

Problem #4 – I was researching other nearby colleges that I could maybe adjunct at this past week. Then I started looking at maybe evening/weekend bartending jobs and I just wound up thinking – how many jobs should I have to work to make a decent wage?

It just feels like everything about finances while working in education has been exactly what I’ve rebelled against with my blog this whole time. Teachers keep saying they don’t do it for the money (a common refrain among stage managers too), but like, what the heck else is your career supposed to be about?

We should all 100% be doing it for the money. Everything else (like actually liking your job) is just gravy.

Opinions? Thoughts? Anyone have an idea of when I really need to make up my mind about this?