Sometimes You Just Suck | brokeGIRLrich
Not to brag, but I’m one of those people who has largely breezed by in life. I’m extremely lucky to have parents who were super supportive, but also strict as all get out, which instilled in a lot of really good habits in me when I was really young.
I’m also pretty smart. I’m not saying I’m a genius or that I’m planning to cure cancer anytime soon, only that stuff like schoolwork and picking up new skills was always pretty easy to me.
Until this past year. This year is the first time in my life I’ve ever taken a job I didn’t innately excel at. I needed to move back to the tristate area for a family emergency and so I took the first job that I thought I could possibly do.
Can I do it? Yes. I get by. But getting by is extremely frustrating when you’re used to kicking butt.
When I was out working on the circus, one of my co-workers, actually my best friend out there, was new to the whole performance/touring life and also took a job outside her comfort zone to try something new.
…it wasn’t the greatest fit.
But she worked hard at it. While she never became 100% comfortable around it, she definitely got a lot better over time. I remember sitting in the office with her after our respective performance reviews with her muttering over and over again that she’d never gotten a bad performance review before.
I felt bad for her, but having never been in that position before, all I could think was “well, work harder.” Which, of course, I was smart enough not say…. I suggested we hit a bar, duh.
Every time I walk into this place, my blood pressure skyrockets and my stomach churns… this is a problem.
Fast forward about a year and that was me at my review this summer.
So this post is for anyone else out there struggling to figure out how to make it work for the first time in your life, since it’s not just naturally falling into place.
- It can make you actually depressed.
- It can make you doubt you ever actually did something right.
- It can make you near homicidal towards your boss and co-workers.
- It can make you drink heavily.
- It can sap all your energy.
- It can destroy your previous good habits and make you want to wallow in Career Limiting Moves – which just compounds the problem!
You’re not alone!
Things I’ve been doing this year to try to keep from going crazy:
- Fully using my time off for the first time in forever.
- Applying for new jobs.
- Developing a hobby (you’re reading it).
- Making sure I have important things in my life BESIDES my job (friends and family).
- Trying to always have something coming up on my social calendar that I’m excited about.
Additionally, things I’ve been doing to try to get better at work:
- Read EVERYTHING in the office. Old paperwork, equipment manuals, old production reports, etc.
- Spend free time watching YouTube videos on aspects of the job I don’t know or am not good at (like this VectorWorks tutorial).
- Make friends with coworkers in other departments… my boss and I will never get along, but at least by making friends where I can, it makes interdepartmental work go much smoother.
I don’t think I’ve ever fully experienced that… And I’ll be honest and say that I hope I don’t. There have definitely been times where work has not been a good fit, though.
You have a very proactive approach, and good ideas. Personally, I really like the “read absolutely everything ” point.
Anne @ Money Propeller recently posted…3 Reasons You Should Reconsider Private Schooling
The first few months at my current job were similarly difficult and I constantly felt like I was sucking at everything. Turns out, though, after a few months of paying my dues, asking a lot of questions, and I’ll admit sometimes crying in the bathroom, I started getting downright good at my job and it kind of fell into place.
Taylor Lee recently posted…More Affordable Condo-Buying Tips: Beware Insufficient HOA Reserves
I have seen this in people that have worked for me, my advice was go do something you enjoy instead of coming in here each day and being miserable and make everyone else around you feel the same way. It’s that decision point you have to make by yourself, can I improved at my current position or is it time to bail and go find a better fit.
Brian @ Debt Discipline recently posted…Stuff
In my opinion that is what it is going to be at any new job unless you do a completely parallel shift to a company that did the exact same thing you were doing before. As much as it sucks at the start, once you learn everything you need to learn, and can do everything you need to do, it seems like you just coast. Try to look at it like a challenge.
In all honesty i think i left my last job because it got boring. It was the same thing day in and day out and I think i probably missed not knowing all the stuff. Looking back at this job it was the same way, when i got here it was terrible. Everything was new and i didn’t know what to do, now, the job was much more enjoyable at that time looking back.
I would stay try to stick to it if you actually like the work. Fitting in and figuring it out will come with time. If you hate the job and thats why you have been looking for work then get out of there immediately. Like Brian has said above, there is nothing worse then someone being at a job that they hate, its bad for the person, the other employees and the company.
If you decide to stay you should already know the areas that you need to improve at which is alot easier than trying to master the entire industry, that is unless the person that gave the review is a bad manager. Anyways try to have fun with it, and if it really isn’t for you, hit the road.
Jeff
Jeff recently posted…Our 2015 Budget(s)
Production Management is NOT my favorite aspect of theater, it was really just something I could do when I needed a job that let me move back home for a while to help out.
Honestly though, it’s the environment that I have the most trouble with – other than the girl before me, my bosses assistants don’t usually even last a year. I don’t like the job and it doesn’t come naturally, but I’ve found when he goes away on vacation, life is a lot more tolerable. Since I don’t see that situation changing anytime soon, I think it’s best to move on.
I don’t think I ever felt like that on a previous job; however, I felt like that when I started my company. I feel like I made a lot of bad mistakes initially and I HATE making mistakes. Fortunately, I am someone who learns and I haven’t made the same mistake twice.
I think I can relate. I used to always score jobs really easily until 2008 when I was laid off and started freelancing. Now I can barely get an interview, and I used to kick ass in interviews, and not one has led to a full time job. It can really make you doubt yourself!
Tonya@Budget and the Beach recently posted…Answering the Question: Why Am I Really Doing This?
If something is really making me unhappy I leave. I think you’ve put up a good fight, but it might be time to move on.
Stefanie @ The Broke and Beautiful Life recently posted…Opening the Spending Floodgates
Interested to see how you feel a year from now because I look back at some of my less than stellar performances and think I could do those things with my eyes closed now. At the time I wanted to poke my own eyes out though. LOL
If you are uncomfortable, it means you are growing so that’s a good thing. It sounds like you are approaching it positively and I hope everything works out for you.
May recently posted…Someone Stole our Christmas Tree
I had been recruited for a consulting contract and interviewed for a fully detailed job that I was excited to do. It checked off a bunch of things on my passion-driven bucket list so I quit a job I really liked for this new awesome opportunity only to get there day 1 and be told I was doing something totally different, technically complex, and beyond my education. I was sweating bullets from stress and hating where I ended up but a young QA manager (he millennial, I a 53 year old boomer) told me that he went through the same thing when he first came there and said take deep breaths and just float with the waves for 3 months and it will all work out. I took his advice and it turned into one of the most rewarding career moves I have done. At 3 months things just started to click. I did retire from that (my second early retirement) and I think the advise works for whatever you do because we tend to be impatient when we are uncomfortable. Give it 3 months. If its still a poor fit after that then its probably time to move on.
LeisureFreak Tommy recently posted…Being Rationally Unreasonable
LOL – well I always make it a point to last at yeast a year before I move on and I’m about two weeks from hitting that mark.
I feel similarly that a lot of things expected of me weren’t covered in our interview or I flat out told them I didn’t know how to do it. I actually wondered for a while if I’d lost my mind or blatantly lied in my interview until we went to hire a new assistant and I found my bosses notes on my interview in his files trying to find previous assistant applications. He flat out wrote down that the things we fight over all the time were things I had no experience in. It made me wonder a lot why he picked to hire me when these were such crucial skills that I had little to no real experience in. At least it made me feel a lot less crazy to find that.
I can relate. Throughout school and my earlier jobs, things came easily. When I was promoted at my last job, I was thrown into a very different world and I didn’t understand a thing. It was really frustrating, and I kept wondering when things would click! Thankfully they did, but I had similar feelings as you. With freelancing, it’s been slightly worse. It’s very rewarding, but I’m on my own and mistakes are inevitable, which leads to a lot of self-doubt. I hope you can find a job you enjoy!
Erin @ Journey to Saving recently posted…Being Grateful: Fiftieth Edition
I noticed that in some of the other comments that freelancing really leads to entirely new levels of self-doubt and mistakes – at least you’re not alone, Erin!
This has been the story of my life recently. My job and company are growing faster than we can keep up with, which is great! But it also means a ton of new learning curves for me, one right after the other. It’s been difficult to say the least. But allowing myself to fully relax on my days off really helps.
Lisa recently posted…I’m Not Perfect
I did. My first job out of school. 24-hour pager support for a very temperamental software system. Weekend long deployments. It helped that my coworkers were all so cool. As soon as I could I transferred to another project. Some jobs just suck and you take the lessons learned but move on! It was then I knew my career in IT development/support would be short lived.
Toni @ Debt Free Divas recently posted…Savvy Money Strategies for Single Moms
That’s so funny you mention this, because I’m actually experiencing this at my job right now… not being amazing at work stuff for once! School and learning new things was always such a breeze for me, because it was independent work. I could depend on myself to get things done. Now that I work with others, who I depend on for information, I occasionally look dumb… because their information is unclear or incorrect. It’s definitely frustrating. Like you, I’m trying to make the best of it, give myself a creative outlet outside of work (my blog too!), and keep contacts in other areas of my organization. It’s the little things, sometimes. Like planning out vacations two years in advance…
Thanks for sharing! I’m so not alone! 🙂
You’re definitely not alone!
I’m looking forward to finding a job where I’m more autonomous and less part of a team. I mean, I don’t mind being part of an overall team, but I prefer that I be the only one doing exactly my job.
Great post! I can definitely relate, but in a different way. I’m really good at my current job but had had a really hard time finding a new job (until this week, eek!). I went through everything you described–depression, self doubt, hating bosses, etc. And I solved it by fully using my free time, developing hobbies, etc. You’re totally spot on. Thanks. It’s always good to feel less alone.
Chela recently posted…Good News Everyone!
Like you, I’ve always been pretty naturally talented. Also like you, I’m in a job now that I don’t naturally excel at and it sucks! I too am working to change my situation.
Kayla @ Shoeaholicnomore recently posted…Financially Savvy Saturdays Sixty-Fifth Edition
Hmmm, can’t say I breezed through life, since I ended up with a disability starting at age 19. But I will say I’ve been very lucky in a lot of areas. I actually wrote a post about it when we got out of debt about how I hate the phrase, “If I did it, anyone can” because it just doesn’t take into account all the advantages most people have. And I listed ours.
But like you, while not a genius — especially when the chronic fatigue is at its worst — I’m pretty smart. I can write well, which helped me get and keep a job I can do from home, and probably most importantly, my mom supported me when I needed it. She offered emotional support when I tried (and failed) to work normal jobs. She sent the occasional $20 when I was just making ends meet, so that I could go out to dinner. And around the time I admitted I couldn’t work, she was leaving my dad. So she moved to Seattle and got a two bedroom. She also spent a significant chunk of her savings (when she herself wasn’t able to work for awhile) getting me therapy, since I was uninsured at the time.
But yeah because of my disability, I’ve had a decent chunk of jobs that I couldn’t do consistently well. I tried work as a receptionist — which I figured I was smart enough to do — but I kept screwing up on various things. I was getting to the point of not functioning well, so I quit after three months.
The rest lasted longer, but in the end I’d be so tired that I either couldn’t sustainably work or so tired that I was easily confused and made mistakes. I guess you try your best and look for a job you’d like better, assuming there are jobs in your area.
Abigail recently posted…Nothing’s ever enough (and that’s okay)
Oh, man, I have. I actually recused myself which is what you’re supposed to do ethically in my field. It was a toughie. I felt so down about myself, because usually my non-genius but not stupid either level of intelligence in combination with my unhealthy work ethic help me get over any work hurdles pretty quickly. But that one time I just had to step down. Humbling. And makes you feel really bad about yourself.
I hope something amazing comes along for you soon! And I’m sorry this one’s been such a bummer.
femmefrugality recently posted…Memorable Marketing 101