On February 2^nd I crossed the two year/half way mark in my PhD program.

So it seems like time write a reflection piece on year two of the whole process.

Going into the whole thing, someone was telling me about the overall process and they warned me the second year is the worst. It’s like being lost in a forest.

Fingers crossed that was accurate, since it was not great but it is now over.

February 2023

I finished up last year’s post here, but to recap: I applied for some funding.

I submitted some chapters for my third supervisor, who had just joined my team, and is also dean of the school, to review (that went ok).

My supervisors and I realized I missed a pretty big deadline for an annual report that I didn’t realize I was supposed to do.

I sat in on the first year technical theatre course whenever I was free.

I approached several theatre companies to see if they would work with me as case studies for my thesis. They said no.

I went to a Wednesday night lecture series at the local theatre that was hosted by professors from my school.

I worked front of house at a local performance every weekend. Digital producing opportunities really dried up – to around 20-30% of what they were in the previous two years.

The Tavern of Conquests, an RPG for couples that I’ve been working on with some friends on the side of everything, was published on Itch.io.

My cousin visited for a few days and a friend from cruise ships visited for a few days.

March 2023

I frantically threw together my annual report and started circulating it for my supervisors signatures – this always takes longer than it seems it will.

I attended ETC console training through my connections to the undergraduate tech courses. The second years go and obtain this training as part of their technical theatre training.

I started teaching the stage management and props masterclasses for the first year technical theatre students and it was so much fun and reminded me of why I’m even doing this degree.

I started reminding my supervisory team about my transfer exam and how I was now qualified to take it and have to take it before 2/2/24.

I started looking into a teaching certification that is available through the school called the GOLD award.

I submitted a co-authored journal article with a classmate.

I saw a really cool show – Sylvia Mercuriali’s Macando.

I worked front of house at a local performance every weekend. The digital producing dry spell continued –  around 20-30% of bookings compared to previous two years.

April 2023

I finally submitted that fully signed annual report about two months late.

I attended a few workshops on NVivo, a software for analyzing qualitative data, and a few on immersive theatre and accessibility.

I continued teaching the masterclasses and the undergrad students started teching their spring shows, so I helped with that.

I filled in for a friend calling a ballet show.

I heard back from the show I worked front of house at for nearly a year at that point and they said they could probably be a case study the following spring. One of my supervisors provided an introduction to another immersive theatre company, and they agreed to meet with me and chat about my project.

I submitted a proposal to present a paper at a conference in Leeds over the summer.

I worked front of house at a local performance most weekends. The digital producing dry spell seems less like a dry spell and like a new reality? It was certainly concerning.

May 2023

I finished up my TAing duties for the spring.

I created a draft of my transfer report – which is a large report on everything I’ve done since beginning that is then part of an oral assessment conducted by two faculty assessors that are not part of my supervisory team.

I attended an intimacy coordination workshop.

I had a booth at the Broadway Stage Management Symposium where I had several guests join me to talk about different personal finance aspects.

It was kind of a crazy travel month too. I went to Wales with my boyfriend for a friend of his’s wedding. I met up with a good friend in Copenhagen for the weekend because she was over there for work. And we went to the Cooper’s Hill cheese rolling, which was incredible. We finished the month by going to Mexico for my brother’s wedding.

I worked front of house at the local show a few days. The digital producing was still not good.

June 2023

The month started on vacation in Mexico for my brother’s wedding.

As soon as I got back, I went immediately to Sheffield for a week to work as a research assistant and collect interview data for one of my supervisors’. I was collecting interview information about people’s experiences in the show for his research funding from the arts council and I also had permission from him to collect audience data for my research, so this was the beginning of my pilot study. I got a lot of useful data. The interview info I collected for his research though was really rough. The days were crazy long, I was transcribing these interviews pretty continuously. And the topic of the show has to do with grief, aging, loss and motherhood, so I found my own mother related grief intensely triggered by a lot of these stories. It was a really rough week and I had like a small breakdown at the end of it.

Maybe not so small. I was carrying the weight of all that when I checked my email during lunch and found notes from one my supervisor’s on my transfer report that I drafted that it was essentially terrible. Like… absolutely horrible.

The combination of the two things led to a lot of tears. And a sad walk around Sheffield. Fortunately it was the last day I was scheduled to be there, so I went home that night on the verge of dropping out my PhD entirely.

My partner listened to me rage and cry all night and I still wanted to drop out but figured I’d keep working until I had an actual plan for what I wanted to do next. And the next morning we flew to Ireland for the weekend for another wedding.

June was freaking crazy.

Still thinking very much about dropping out, I began revising my transfer report.

I worked with another professor in the school a bit as a research assistant for his project on intimacy coordination.

I met with the theatre company that my supervisor introduced me to and they agreed to be a case study, however, they had some venue issues and the opening of their show was pushed to the fall.

The submission I made to the conference earlier in the year was accepted.

I interviewed the house manager for my pilot study. I reached out to the director for my pilot study to interview her and it turned out that when the executive director of the show gave me permission to do my study, they hadn’t consulted with her and she was angry about it and told me my research was unethical and refused to do the interview. So I had another small breakdown because my research was on hold again while I tried to figure out how to navigate that.

I got kind of pushed into organizing a workshop event with an outside theatre company to come in and teach the MAs and PhD as artists in residence for a week in like digital and projection performance.

It was a stressful and crazy month that I would like to not repeat.

Bookings were still down digital producing. I worked front of house for the local show every weekend I was in London.

Oof. I’m stressed out again just reflecting on it.

July 2023

I have found that July and August are by miles the best part of the year as a PhD student. I still have to do work on my research, but most of my other school obligations are minimal or fun.

I redrafted the transfer report that instigated my mental breakdown in June. It was kind of miserable but my understanding of my project and my writing skills took a large step forward. I made sure my supervisors knew I wanted to submit for my transfer exam in September.  I wanted it done before the spring because the spring is much crazier than the fall since that’s when the courses I can TA are.

I found out that the date for the one company that had agreed to work with me was pushed back even further due to their building issues.

I found out that the show I had been working on during the weekends for a year and that was going to be my case study the following spring was actually closing in September. I reached out to try to see about the odds of moving up the study but got no reply.

I submitted for funding to attend the conference I was accepted to.

I did not receive any of the funding I applied for in the spring.

I took some skating lessons to learn how to skate outdoors better.

I did two days of digital producing the whole month.

My best friend came out to visit again for the last week of July and first week of August.

August 2023

I hung out with the BFF in England, we went to the Peak District for a weekend and then we went over to Switzerland and met up with our other BFF and explored over there for a few days. Some very expensive choices in a year with not great income, but YOLO I guess. But also a highlight of the year.

I got new feedback on my transfer report that it was much better and almost ready to submit with a few revisions.

I was sent to Edinburgh Fringe for a week to babysit the first years and the show they brought up there. My partner was able to come and stay with me in the school supplied accommodations. We saw a ton of plays and nothing terrible happened with the students, so all in all, a win.

I finished all the other paperwork besides the large report for my transfer exam. In my supervisor check-in for the month, a really informal one since my first supervisor was on vacation, I reminded him I would get him the papers to approve and sign early in September.

I went to Leeds at the end of the month and presented a paper in my working group at TaPRA. I was kind of dreading it after how I felt about my last conference, but it was delightful. My working group was excellent. The people are lovely. Their research is interesting. So much better than my first conference.

There was a tiny bit of digital producing and some front of house work on the weekends.

September 2023

I sent my supervisor the paperwork for my transfer exam. He knew the goal was to submit it for approval by the end of September so the exam could be scheduled before Christmas.

I volunteered at one of the British Stage Manager Association booths for the PLASA show and met some other stage managers.

The paper I submitted with a classmate in March was asked to revise for resubmission. The review comments were brutal. I was ready to give up. My co-author suggested we do the revisions.

I spent the last week of the month in Washington, DC stage managing at the World Culture Festival. It was crazy and so much fun and I didn’t really want to come back to school. But I did.

I suggested we needed to organize another Postgraduate student sharing party, like we’d had the previous winter. Since I suggested it, I suddenly found myself organizing it.

I worked on the graphic design for the print version of Tavern of Conquests.

The show I worked on during the weekends for the last year and a half closed. No case study happened.

October 2023

September was a little crazy, my supervisor suddenly had to go to Germany, I think for a few days, so we shifted our supervisor meeting to the first day I was back in October from stage managing at the festival, which was like the 4^th day of the month. Our previous meeting had been the last few days of August. I thought I had to have a supervisor meeting every 6 weeks. It was actually every calendar month. I got in trouble with the school attendance committee for missing a meeting. It was all very fun.

My first supervisor did not sign the transfer papers. I said would you please sign the transfer papers. He said I will sign the transfer papers. He did not sign the transfer papers.

I went to see a show that might be a good case study. It was not a good case study.

My co-author of the paper and I were supposed to go to the school sponsored writing retreat to deal with all the revisions to our journal article. He just didn’t show up. I did the revisions and sent in the resubmission after he looked over them for approval.

I organized the Postgraduate sharing party and sent out a call to the other schools within the liberal arts faculty for papers and presentations.

I reached out to four other theatre companies to see if they would be case studies.

Finally, a decent month of digital producing. What would’ve been a slow month in the old days, but now a very lovely month. No more weekend work.

November 2023

The first supervisor finally signs the transfer report. I am able to move it along to the second supervisor who signs It in a day and then off to a representative from the head of school to sign.

I beg to organize the exam part of the transfer before the holidays. The due date for the exam is 2/2/24.

I continue organizing the Postgraduate sharing party.

I agreed to TA the technical theatre courses in the spring. Rather than just teaching a section of masterclasses, I agreed to teach the whole thing.

I flew home for a family wedding over a weekend. It was wild. I usually have terrible jet lag and I did have kind of terrible jet lag but so much was happening from when I landed till I left that the jet lag didn’t matter. It was a lovely wedding. I’m so glad I got to go.

A theatre company in Brooklyn agreed to be a case study over the holidays.

The other theatre company with the problematic venue pushed back their opening date again.

I attended a symposium at school that was pretty interesting about various aspect of immersive technology. I also attended a day long conference about the arts and healthcare that my supervisor was presenting things at. There is a lot of crossover with what I’m doing related to care ethics, the arts and healthcare, so it was a pretty interesting day.

I agreed to work a few weekends facilitating one of my supervisor’s theatre company’s shows, starting the last weekend of the month.

I worked a few days as front of house at the big expo center near my part of town.

I started the final level roller skating class with the skating company I’ve been taking classes with. I got some kind of flu at the end of the month.

Maybe most exciting, we published the print version of Taverns of Conquests on Amazon. I am still slightly horrified that we make about $4.00 split three ways on a book that costs $25 to buy. I know it costs about $11 just to print, does Amazon really need like $10 as well? It seems like it should be the other way around.

December 2023

My transfer paperwork is finally all done and submitted in time for approval on December 7^th. My actually exam is not scheduled for before the holidays. The ability to schedule the exam is held up by one of the examiners having an out of date training certificate. I’m told I won’t be penalized if my exam is late because of this, but also, I would just really like this flipping thing done.

The Postgraduate sharing party happens the first week of December. My flu Is mostly gone. My presentation goes well. We have good attendance. Everyone is happy with this event. Thank goodness, as it has not been a year chock full of outputs from me. In retrospect, this makes a lot of sense – between that comment about being lost in a forest and the fact that I have actually been doing several things but none have led to an actual output yet.

We have sort of a sister research centre, the folks who study sound, and they did a big concert with their weird fancy speaker they own in a school crypt. I promptly fall down two steps onto concrete and sprain one ankle and just absolutely destroy my other knee.

I consider if I should go to A&E but my inner American who is freaked out by hospitals and their costs and their inconveniences (though I know there is no cost here) thinks we’ll wait and see, so I hobble home, and up the 3.5 flights of stairs to my apartment. And thus begins three really slow weeks of not being able to walk well at all and a lot of pain.

London is a lousy place to be if you can’t walk well. That also cut my roller skating class short, so I did not finish the final course.

I hobble out of my home to go facilitate games for my supervisor’s theatre company.

I go to the pub one night to meet up with two of the other PhD students and they help me out by doing a practice transfer viva. I have these nifty Viva Cards I found online. I could totally make my own but I bought them in that June spiral of panic. They are actually very useful now though.

I attend a GOLD award (teaching credential) information meeting.

The director for the pilot study reached out and offered to do the interview with me.

I went home and promptly forgot all about school for about 10 days and it was lovely. I decided to just ignore that my transfer exam, which should’ve already been done, was still not done and looming before me. Though I had, in some ways, been ready to do this thing since September.

The only school work I did was attend the show that became my first case study and write up my observations about it.

January 2024

I stayed in the U.S. an extra week to work a well paying stage management gig over the weekend. I started revising for the transfer exam while home.

I did the interview with the performance maker and the production staff member from the Brooklyn theatre company. They have agreed to collect audience data using a QR code on their programs when they next reprint them. The show is closed for a few weeks while they repair a large hole in the floor, and the stage manager will get in touch with me when they reopen.

I did the interview with the director from my pilot study and completed my data collection for that case.

The date for my transfer exam was set for February 15^th (yes, tomorrow, if you’re reading this the day it’s published). I had a mini-breakdown about a week after they announced the date but then I got over it and just got on with revising.

I did all the paperwork for my annual review and got all of my supervisors to sign it before the end of the month.

I started TAing the first and second year technical theatre courses. I also work very part-time helping to develop the paperwork for an apprenticeship with the school for production managers.

The journal article I co-authored with my classmate was accepted with minor revisions. We did the revisions and resubmitted the article.

I created a poster for display at the school research center opening.

February 2024

I submitted my paperwork for my annual review to learn it needed to be submitted a month earlier to be reviewed by the committee on time, but let’s be real – deadlines barely seem to mean anything here, really. I got an email slap on the wrist and got on with life.

I continued TAing the first and second year technical theatre courses. I continued working on the apprenticeship paperwork.

And that is the second year of a PhD.

I feel like when I did this last year, I had an impressive list of things I’d managed. This year felt like such a faff, but in retrospect, I did manage to do a few things:

• I designed the course content and ran masterclasses for stage management and props for first year students.
• I wrote another draft of my literature review.
• I wrote half a draft of my methodology.
• I presented a recap of the 2022 PhD Symposium and a piece of my proposed workshop at the Spring Postgraduate Sharing Party.
• I organized and presented a section of a workshop at the fall Postgraduate Sharing Party.
• I wrote my transfer report.
• I am the first author on an accepted journal submission.
• I presented a paper at a conference.
• I created a poster of my research for my research centre opening night.
• I collected all my pilot study data.
• I collected 2/3 of the data for my first case study.
• I worked part time all year.
• I attended a few dozen immersive theatre performance.
• I attended a few dozen academic workshops.
• I made it to quite a few important life events in my family and went on an epic summer vacation.

I talked a bit about the Strands last year. Strand 1 and 2 were completed during my first year. Strand 3 was partially completed in my first year and the second half I can’t do until after my transfer exam. This year, I was focused a bit on the Strand 4 project where I worked with one of the professors in the school on an intimacy coordination project, which is still ongoing. Strand 5 is the various workshops and conferences I attended throughout the year.

Overall, I have found it to be a perpetually frustrating year in which I have been repeatedly humbled, often misunderstood, and I genuinely wonder if I have any clue what I am doing. I hope I look back on this a year from now and think this is kind of funny.

I also hope I have a better grasp on what I am doing a year from now, since hopefully I’ll be finishing up the rough draft of my thesis by this time next year so it can begin the slow process of my supervisor’s reading it and then it being submitted, approved, read by some external examinors, and then examined. I do feel like I sort of have a clue at the moment, but I guess we’ll see…

That paragraph is terrifying. Ugh.

But we persevere.

If you’re considering a PhD in the liberal arts, below are a few other posts I’ve written on this doctoral journey so far:

• My First Week as a Theatre/Drama PhD Student
• My First Year as a Theatre/Drama PhD Student
• What I Did in the Year Leading Up to Getting Accepted Into My Theatre PhD Program