Ya’ll, I sat for a while trying to figure out what to write about today. I have to be honest with you. I don’t have a lot of motivation these days.

The majority of goals I usually have are largely on hold thanks to the pandemic. It’s pretty much survival mode over here. I’d actually say it’s still deep survival mode since I’m still living with my dad and haven’t ventured back out on my own yet.

This pandemic is definitely a marathon and I have to level with you, a ran a mere 5k all of once and hated every second of it.

I am channeling that mood today.

I feel like I have two speeds these days. Do all the things or binge watch all the shows and do we even really need to get out of bed today?

I’ve been on the binge watching speed for a while now.

The new job, which I’m genuinely really grateful for, doesn’t help with the motivation much though because while it’s very easy, it requires a weird amount of attention (like any stage manager who has run a boring, easy show know) and I stare at a screen for hours at a time. By the end of the day, I just feel complete shot.

I realize people who work office and desk jobs are totally used to staring at a screen for 8 or so hours a day, but I’m just not.

This is compounded by taking online accounting classes and running a blog, which also add more screen time. And my other hobby, editing the book I wrote, which is, you guessed it, more screen time.

I think I am just part robot now? I am one with the screen. And in many ways my body is rejecting it.

When I’m done being one with the little screen, there is nothing left in me, and so I become one with the bigger screen and stare blankly at the TV for a few hours before passing out.

Every once in a while, I have fleeting memories of running shows, swimming in hotel pools, and interacting with the outside world, but were they ever real? Is anything real?

Not that any of this topic has much to do with money or career, which is the primary theme of this blog. However, who we are and where we are mentally certainly can affect those things. And surely the dismal state of the industry I worked in for more than a decade is an influence on this mindset.

Hope you’re all in a better mental place than I am at the moment. But maybe tomorrow will bring on a useful surge of do all the things.

Fingers crossed.