Man oh man is it a little too easy to fall into certain habits with certain people or in certain situations or what?
I noticed that even though I no longer live in the City, on days when I’m there working, I barely eat and then spend far too much out drinking with friends.
I can be doing the exact same job in a theater in New Jersey and I will bring food with me, eat like a sane person and not destroy my budget with drinks after work.
The main difference? The bandwagon. In NYC there in an insane go, go, go mentality that permeates everything and plenty of folks to grab a drink with after work.
Maybe it’s something about suburbia, but like always just seems a little saner out here (at times, I mean the Stepford Wives and Mulholland Drive are fascinating and terrifying movies for a reason).
Jumping off the bandwagon can be incredibly difficult – fear of missing out is real and sometimes you are legitimately missing out – whether it’s the cute coworker you are not chatting up by not being there to something far more substantial like missed networking opportunities.
But breaking your ties with the bandwagon can be a good thing too.
There are like 8,000 inspiration quotes about marching to the beat of your own drum and there’s a pretty good reason for that.
This has always been one of my favorites.
Being part of a bandwagon means making group decisions, often without even asking, who is driving this bandwagon? It’s like trying to not piss off the mean girls in high school all over again. What are the priorities here? Do they even line up with yours?
The person instigating all these decisions may not be trying to save up for a down payment, pay down debt or even create a travel fund to go walk on the Great Wall of China. They might be totally shiftless – you probably don’t know (I mean… you could ask them, but do you?)!
I’m not saying to never go and grab a drink with the group, but if you go from making it an every night thing to a once in a while thing, you’re probably striking a far healthier balance (I know my liver was grateful when I switched from hanging out every night to occasionally).
When you spend more time on your own and make sure you are consciously deciding when and who you want to hang out with, you achieve a lot more.
Don’t forget, there are those who say you’re the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.
I actually jumped off the bandwagon about three years ago, and I found that I not only saved money, because life on the bandwagon is definitely more expensive, but I developed better relationships. I love that I live outside of NYC so that I can choose to jump on or off whenever I like.
That’s true – I think that as much as I don’t like living in big cities, the suburbs are a pretty perfect compromise, close enough to reap the benefits and far enough away to slow the rat race a little.
This was me when I first started playing beach volleyball. I had just been laid off and so meeting all these new people was exciting, so how could I say no when they asked me to join them for drinks/dinner? I still feel that tinge of sadness when I have to say no now, but as Natalie from The Finance Girl wrote this week, it’s better to have wants then be in debt. 🙂
Tonya@Budget and the Beach recently posted…Real Money Stories: Running an Airbnb
Natalie is on to something!
Sounds awesome to me. I know that when we go see our friends do improv, we invariably end up at a bar. Granted, only one of us drinks, but even a couple of drinks add up fast. Especially because drinking gives me the munchies.
It’s easy to get carried away in a group. You don’t want to be the lone dissenter, aka the party pooper.So you go with the flow and hope your budget can handle it.
Abigail @ipickuppennies recently posted…Why you? Why not?
I fell off the bandwagon about 5 years ago and have yet to climb back on 🙂
Brian recently posted…Summer Money Saving Tips
The bandwagon is still fun to jump on every now and then! I sometimes like turning my mind on cruise control and doing whatever the “cool kids” are doing these days. As long as it doesn’t bankrupt me I’m fine with treating myself to a fun night out. Otherwise I’ll stay at home on my couch watching netflix or playing boardgames with the people I care about most.
Stephen recently posted…Do you want to spend time in Hanoi Vietnam?
The key there is as long as it doesn’t bankrupt you! I’m all for seizing the moment sometimes – but spending all your time on the bandwagon isn’t the best idea.
Since I just started a new job, I do often feel compelled to join the group for lunch/afternoon outings. I usually have no trouble turning down these sorts of things, but because the team is new, and we’re “bonding,” I really don’t want to be the odd man out or the anti-social, anti-team one. So I go along for now, and try to just stick to the least expensive items on the menu 🙂
Chela @SmashOdyssey recently posted…Holly Is Awesome! (And Why I’m Getting TWO New Credit Cards!)
This is amazing! Good post! It sounds awesome to me! So much opportunity…over there. But how are we going to get over there?
It can be so easy to stay with the status quo. But when we want, we can change and it can be liberating. One of my favorite things about personal finance is the fact that the habits you develop managing money can transcend to other areas of your life. It gives you purpose. It gives you a great reason to not be normal!
Luke Fitzgerald @ FinanciallyFitz recently posted…The Newlywed Disease
Haha, yes! I definitely notice a lot of my PF habits creeping into other areas of my life – for the better.
The bandwagon mentality is so pervasive. That’s how I accumulated so much of my clutter. Achieved something? Buy something. Catching up with friends? Go shopping. I finally took a step back and realized how much stuff we have that we don’t need.
Penny @ She Picks Up Penny recently posted…Extreme(ly Stupid) Couponing
I don’t think it’s what you meant, but when you wrote “achieve something, buy something” it totally reminded me of all the crap I have from events – like an I ran so and such 5K t-shirt that cost $20, but, ya know, I did it! I have so much junk like that.