I Can’t Get No Motivation | brokeGIRLrich
I’m dealing with some intense rat on a wheel syndrome guys.
I’ve spent 6 weeks this summer working from home with the freedom to do what I want as long as I was hitting the deadlines for the stuff I needed to do. Then my mom’s cancer relapse has had me at home for 3 extra weeks, continuing to do the work at home and just hit deadlines around other stuff that’s happening.
Now, the last 3 weeks – kinda crappy, kinda terrifying, kinda mind-bogglingly dull.
But the idea of hopping back onto my rat wheel and rejoining the circus is currently giving me some intense adjida. (odd-ji-da? Ahgiduh?).
What does the beginning of a nervous breakdown feel like? Is this dread step one?
Guys. I sometimes like my job. I’m proud of our shows. My co-workers are fairly awesome. I’ve worked real hard for more than a decade to be able to do these things. Why am I dreading this so hardcore?
I know some of it is that from now till Thanksgiving, free time will be super scarce. I know some of it is fear of another relapse on my mom’s part and what if I miss all the good time left with her and just wind up running back in at the very end next time?
If you are considering a career in the arts, it’s no joke, ya’ll. It really does eat so much of your life.
It feels so lazy to not want to fall into the circus grind and just let it eat my whole life. Preferring a work- life balance seems blatantly un-American.
Is this how teachers feel every September?
I’m trying to take this dread and use it as motivation. Motivation to get up early and actually take my accounting classes. Motivation to stay on top of brokeGIRLrich posts and site maintenance. Motivation to keep building up anything that will eventually help me deal with the rat race on my own terms.
Sorry to hear about your mom’s relapse, Mel. It can be difficult to go through changes even without that kind of situation weighing on you. I think you’re smart to use this as motivation for things that will help your future. I’m kind of lacking motivation myself right now, so I just want to say, you’re not alone!
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Thanks, Gary!
We all have days and weeks like this. Most of the time when I feel this way was because of simply overthinking about a few things and some frustrations that are going on with my life. It will pass, and you’ll go over this little hump.
It’s easy to get motivated, however, the challenge is staying motivated. We’re only humans!
Yes I felt this way all summer about promoting my blog. I didn’t do many linky parties at all. I think we just get too busy sometimes and then we are exhausted. Life is crazy. I’ve found my motivation though and I hope you do too soon!
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You asked about seasonal teacher emotions.
There is definitely a seasonal emotional swing that grips all teachers.
For me the first teacher work week is the terribly depressing. It gets much better once the kids arrive during the second week.
The cycle is one thing I actually like about teaching. Many jobs just flow on and on forever without starts and ends. Teaching allows you to start over clean each year. If you start each year a little more organized, the job consumes less and less of your life. After a while, you even do better work with less effort.
Hang in there.
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