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Can we talk for a second about how jealous I am of people who know exactly what they want?

The only things I’ve been decisive about are Jesus and stage management.

And my decisiveness about stage management has definitely waned over the years – especially as I get more entrenched and don’t need backup plans anymore, I often feel trapped instead of lucky.

Indecision is pretty crappy though. I feel like I battle it in every other aspect of my life other than my career. I do sometimes know what I don’t want, but I very rarely know what I do want.

Which is a shame, because if my stage management career has taught me anything, it’s that when I know what I want, I’m fairly unstoppable.

Maybe this is nature’s way of making sure I don’t start a cult or get it into my head to takeover a small country.

Indecision is also kind of expensive. When you’re sure about what you want, you can make a clear plan, compare prices, make longer term investments.

And I don’t just mean buying stocks and holding them forever (though that’s a solid investment strategy with the right stocks). I mean buying a house somewhere you know you want to be a long time. Investing in job training to further your career. Even shelling out money for dates with someone you know you want to keep.

Heck, on a small scale, its buying two dresses instead of one cause you can’t decide and you’ll probably wear them both sometime anyway.

On an even smaller scale, its packing two dresses for the New Year’s Eve party at work and getting hit with an overweight baggage fee cause you couldn’t pare down your wardrobe correctly. …not that that just happened or anything.

It’s going to the buffet so you don’t have to commit to a single meal choice even though you’re not hungry enough to make a buffet price worth it.

Ugh. How do people just make all these decisions so easily?

I’m very jealous of decisive people.