This week was the first time I ever had to run a job search from beginning to end with a large number of candidates. Since starting my new job, I’ve had to hire several props and wardrobe people, but all came as recommendations from trusted colleagues and friends.

This week I posted a job on a job board.

Holy crap.

I don’t know if any of you out there are responsible for hiring folks, but this was my first time sitting on this side of the table and I was shocked by some of the stuff that came through my inbox.

I just don’t understand. Have these people never read a single article on how to write a cover letter or format a resume? I know we’re theatre folk, but still…

Sigh

So, while I can’t speak for everyone, let me vent let you in on some things that I would and wouldn’t advise doing when you apply for a job.

#1 – Apply early. I’m going to level with you here. The first day of the search, I read every word of every person’s cover letter and resume. By the fourth day, if you hit a certain trigger, I stopped reading and filed your application right away.

Furthermore, I developed a system where every single application was saved in a file in my inbox, but the really promising ones were printed out. I realized that I printed less each day, and not because my most qualified applicants all sent in their resumes on day one (honestly, the current front runner was a last minute submission) but because I was definitely more lenient at the top of the search.

I have 6 interview spots. They are going to the people who got printed out. Granted, I have more than 6 resumes printed out (more like 15), but don’t you like the odds of being 6 out of 15 rather than 6 out of 337 (my current resume count)?

Get that application in early before the job searcher is burnt out. I feel this is especially true when you’re applying directly to the department you’ll work in versus a large HR department.

#2 – PROOF READ. Good lord. Seriously. Do I even need to write that? Well apparently. Capitalization and grammar are not negotiable (yes, I realize this makes me a hypocrite). You are not e.e. cummings. Even if you were, I want to know that you can actually write a coherent sentence and represent us properly.

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)*

i will not hire you ever if your cover

letter looks like

this

#3 – Spell my name right. Also, the name of the place you’re applying. Thanks, but this isn’t Lincoln Center… although I assume they had an opening recently and you also applied for it. And apparently didn’t get it. 

My name is listed on the job description. It’s also on the company website. Also – I have 29 years of irritation over people who misspell my name in a certain way. By day 1, if you misspelled my name and wrote you pay great attention to detail, I did not read any further. By day 2, if you spelled my name in that way I hate, I didn’t read any further. By day 3, if you misspelled my name in any way, I didn’t read any further.

#4 – List useless recommendations. Ugh. This is seriously a post in itself. Granted, you can’t really know what your recommender is going to say or do, but if your recommendation writes back:

She’s great! We loved her!!! Hire her now!

(seriously, I got half a dozen recommendations that were variations on that), that recommendation is useless. Maybe you’re applying for a lot of jobs. It’s still your job to shoot your recommendations a note saying that they can expect an email or a phone call and give them a heads up about the job description. I actually had mercy on all the applicants and sent out a note in my request for a reference with some of the qualities we were looking for in our applicants.

On the flip side of this, one person who got printed actually had an ok cover letter and a rather uninteresting resume (although it hit the minimum requirements). He also included a reference that was already written and the reference was stellar. He made the final 15.

A final note on references, include them in your first email! Don’t make me email you asking for references. Of course I want them, were you just assuming you weren’t going to get that far in the process?

I have a special hatred for the words “references available upon request” at the bottom of a resume. Now I have to go out of my way to contact you to get them, thus slowing down this whole process… if I was on the fence about you, I’m just not going to bother.

#5 – Change up the font. I feel this can make you or break you. The default e-mail font or Times New Roman are fine. 90% of what I received was written in them. Another 5% were written in horrendous, tiny print and 1 was in some ridiculous script font. Seriously?

I’m not reading that. I am not going to struggle to give you this job when lots of people are not making it difficult for me.

On the flip side, 5% changed up their fonts, just a little, to something that was a good size and very clear. After spending 4 hours straight reading Times New Roman, it was like a breath of fresh air. The majority of them got printed.

I have a preference for the typewriter font. It’s still very clear and it sets you apart. 3 applicants used it and I love how it looked reading it on my computer so much, I think I’m going to steal that for when I apply for jobs.

#6 – Save your resume as a pdf and put your cover letter in the body of the email. The goal is to make me work as little as possible, even down to how many clicks it takes me to get an idea of who you are.

Also, if your resume is not a pdf and you put a ton of time into making it look unique (and I have no problem with some color or a graphic on there – it does break up the monotony), whatever program I use to open it is very likely going to destroy all your work.

I’m not entirely a monster and I do recognize that technology messes with us all at times, so I’ll usually still try to read it. Occasionally, not even that is possible, and even if it is, all your work was for nothing, why not just send the pdf?

#7 – Do a little research. Like I mentioned above, my name is on the job description and you know where you’re applying. A simple Google will give you plenty of info about both the theater and me.

One brilliant girl, who I guess found me on LinkedIn, mentioned that we shared a parent company in each of our previous jobs and made a very amusing joke that made perfect sense to me from working there and confirmed that she definitely had as well. She wasn’t the right fit for our position here, but I read her whole resume and that was half the battle.

Also, I have no problem with name dropping, but you better actually know that person, because I am going to check, even if they’re not listed as your reference. Another applicant worked several years at a theater company where I had several friends. She seemed unaware of the connection, but I Facebooked them to ask if they knew her. They actually gave her great recommendations.

When I’m scanning resumes, I’m also on the lookout for anything familiar. If we went to the same school, you get a couple of extra seconds to grab my attention. If we’ve worked at the same companies, or even lived in the same areas, I pay a little more attention. I know it’s not really fair, but it’s life.

#8 – Don’t email me again after you’ve sent in your resume. I know, I know, I’ve seen all those articles that say to follow up too. And maybe if you don’t hear anything within a week or two, go for it. But 48 hours later, do not nag me asking if I got your resume.

One applicant was particularly bad about this and she had actually been a printed resume. After the third email, I pulled it from the stack and threw it in the garbage.

Anyone else out there had to hire people before? How do you handle getting hundreds of resumes for the same position? Do you have a different approach?

 

*Stolen from [I carry your heart with me(i carry it in] by e.e. cummings. Which is actually a lovely poem.

**Let’s call the typo on the picture at the top of the post an ironic tribute to rule #2, shall we?